"mot·ley" - Pronunciation Key - [mot-lee]
–ADJECTIVE: 1. exhibiting great diversity of elements; heterogeneous: a motley crowd. 2. being of different colors combined; 3. wearing a parti-colored garment: a motley fool.
–NOUN: 1. a combination of different colors. 5. a parti-colored effect. 6. the parti-colored garment of a jester. 7. a heterogeneous assemblage. 8. a medley.

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Black Friday? Hell No, Baby, Brown Tuesday!

Forget about Black Friday. Except for the entertainment-challenged among us (which seems to be the majority these days), where is the satisfaction in camping out in a Best Buy parking lot for two days just to get a shot at a $200 50" television? Where is the excitement in being elbowed by a rabid soccer mom who is prone to serious mayhem if she thinks she won't score a "Frozen" toy this year? Black Friday is borrrrrrrrrrring!

No more Black Friday, Hell no, baby, we need to make Brown Tuesday our new Thanksgiving / Christmas season custom. You know, the Tuesday immediately prior to Thanksgiving when Grand Juries announce the results of their findings and people who have been waiting for days to loot and riot finally have permission to kick off the holiday season with a (gun) bang and some good ol' fashion lawbreaking. What better way to honor the memory of a lawless and self-centered thug than to set aside a day once a year to go out and be a lawless and self-centered thug yourself. Buying a 50" TV ain't half as 'citing as stealing one. Scoring a "Frozen" action figure ain't half as satisfyin' as the thought of sending a cop to the freezer in the morgue.

White people can keep their Black Friday if they wont to, but it ain't gonna' be like in the past. By the time they get in the door of the burned-out store, ain't gonna' be no TV's left, Black Tuesday, baby!